Once upon a time Abracadabra… Effata !
Once upon a time there was a little girl full of dreams, who like any other girls loved fairy tales.
As she grew, however, she learnt that life and relationships weren’t all that black and white shit but more like shades of grey.
Once she was recovering from a painful broken engagement and she got sick. She did what Cinderella did when she couldn’t go to the ball : she curled up and cried.
Doctors said they could change her pumpkin into a drawn-horse coach. As reluctant and uneasy as she felt, she accepted. But her pumpkin turned into a soup. No horses. No ball. No laughter. Got sicker.
-Will you listen to me now ?
-Who the hell are you ? Are you some kind of Jiminy Cricket?
-Damn ! Would you please turn off the television shit and look up at yourself ? Go holistic ! And holistic she went. The awakening was as quick as a wave from a magic wand. But the journey oh the journey, she didn’t know it lasts a lifetime. She was used to magical band-aids. She used to paint a pain with pink wine, blow her problems into smoke and blind her loneliness with tricked seduced people. Little did she know she was repressing pain and that denying it would one day blow up.
And that day came.
She was driving and suddenly she lost control of her car. She wanted to stir but instead she steered into the skid. Her head split open. For a brief superficial second, she thought she was going to be ugly. But as blood burst everywhere, she felt like life was leaving her. And that was more important. That was what she called her blessed holy accident. Because she didn’t open only physically but also emotionally.
Lying on her hospital bed alone surrounded by strangers, she was ashamed to cry. Her repressed tears fell on her pillow behind her back as if they did not want to be seen. And then a fairy appeared. She came and put her hands on the wounded woman and whispered those magic words
« You are not alone ». As Jesus once said « Effata » which means « be opened » to a deaf man, as the accident opened up her skull, these words were like the « abracadabra » to her heart to get open. The fairy disappeared as she came. But the tears poured out melting with the blood. And it seemed like she was not losing blood, she was giving life. She was offering herself to the world. And that was the magic.
In between her tears, she smiled and told jokes to other wounded and injured people and to nurses and care-givers turning this usually sad scene into a ball open to broken people.
And she lived…happily ever after would be a fairy lie…but she LIVED ! That was all that counted.
Photo credit : Dina Agape